Trigger vs Content Warnings in Romance: Why, When, and How to Use Them
‘Check your triggers’ is a very common phrase in bookish spaces. However, in many cases, readers just want to avoid certain topics or tropes because they dislike them or find them uncomfortable – not because they are being actually triggered.
In psychological terms, a trigger refers to something that causes a trauma response, such as flashbacks, panic, dissociation, or intense psychological distress connected to past trauma. ‘Being triggered’ is now often used as shorthand for feeling annoyed, uncomfortable, or disliking a topic. But just because you dislike something – the pregnancy trope, for example – doesn’t mean reading about it would trigger a reaction connected to past trauma.
So, not all distressing or unwanted content is a psychological trigger, and ‘trigger warning’ isn’t always the most accurate description.
This is where ‘content notes’ or ‘content warnings’ come in. A content warning is a heads-up about topics included in a story. It can cover everything from themes a reader may prefer to avoid for whatever reason, to topics that could cause significant psychological distress. It allows readers to make informed choices about what they engage with, without implying that all listed content will cause a trauma response.
I personally think it’s important to be precise with our language.
But Why?
Why include content warnings in the first place? A common argument against content warnings is that they ‘spoil’ the book. But just as with tropes, knowing that certain themes or topics appear does not necessarily reveal how they unfold in the story. And I’ll happily repeat myself: Romance readers know exactly what they want. And what they don’t want. Don’t underestimate them.
Many of them choose their next reads just as much based on content warnings as they do on tropes.
There is also a common belief that warnings are unnecessary because ‘we’re all grown up’ and ‘should be able to handle difficult topics.’ However, this perspective overlooks the reality that people engage with books for different reasons, at different times, and with different emotional capacities.
For example, after a very traumatic birth experience, I picked up a short thriller. I could handle a murder case! I was expecting dead bodies, tension, violence. But halfway through the book, the detective’s backstory revealed repeated miscarriages in her past – something I wasn’t prepared for. Is that something you would have anticipated?
While it did not trigger a trauma response, it was still emotionally distressing and not something I would have chosen to engage with at that time. I stopped reading the book. Still haven’t finished it to this day, actually.
And it’s not just books dealing with obviously difficult subjects. Even books marketed as cosy or feel-good can contain themes you may not expect:
In All We Want for Christmas by Phillipa Ashley, a festive romance novel, the FMC (female main character) has lost her baby in the past, and this does come up several times. Is that something I’m supposed to expect when I pick up a ‘feel-good festive romance’ (Amazon description)?
Then there are the unexpected things you might never think to look out for:
In The Crimson Moth by Kristen Ciccarelli, the FMC is able to use magic by using her period blood. Yup, she catches her period blood in small vials for later use. Is that something you expect when choosing a romantasy to read? Not necessarily, right?
I don’t need a content warning for that; personally, I loved that take. But I can imagine it might be a bit much for other readers. And that’s the point: You can’t expect readers to know what they will or won’t want to engage with when they don’t know the content is there in the first place.
Providing content warnings gives readers the option to decide whether they want to engage with a particular topic. If someone has no sensitivities or discomforts, they can easily ignore them. For others, that information can make reading a safer and more enjoyable experience. It costs nothing to be kind and mindful of that.
How to Write Content Warnings?
Be precise. A generic ‘trigger warning!’ as I often see on social media without further explanation doesn’t help anyone.
It can also be important to make clear whether certain acts of violence are committed by one main character against the other (or not). There may be readers who would find certain behaviours, such as assault between the love interests, completely irredeemable.
In Sinister, Veronica Lancet provides a detailed list:
This story includes occurrences of: Blood & Pain Play, Bullying, Demonic Pacts & Possession, Domestic Abuse/Physical Assault, Dubious & Non-Consensual Acts, Explicit Sexual Scenes, Fire, Gaslighting & Possessiveness, Graphic Murder & Mutilation, Grief, Gun Violence, Mass Death & Sacrifice, Oppressive Religious Cult, Poisoning, Religious & Occult Themes, Revenge Porn, Self-Harm, Stalking & Manipulation, Suicide & Suicidal Ideation, Teen Pregnancy, Violence & Gore
Do you feel like you know everything about the book from this description alone? Could you predict the plot, or how everything plays out? Probably not.
This list is helpful in two instances: when I don’t want to read about any of these topics. Or when I do. Two birds fed with one scone.
Jasmine Mas (Blood of Hercules) handles it like this:
This is a story of dark romance and darker obsession. Please note that it contains themes that may be triggering for some readers. There is violence, depictions of murder, stalking, suicidal thoughts, bullying, explicit language and betrayal. For a full list, please see the author’s website...
Providing a link to a full list can be useful, but only if that full list is actually available there. Otherwise, you’re sending readers on an unnecessary hunt for information they were told they could find!
Where to Put Content Warnings?
There’s no right or wrong answer.
Some authors mention them at the start of the book. Some put them at the back, and some, as we’ve seen, provide them on their author website. The last option is an additional step your readers have to take, though, so do keep that in mind.
I personally think mentioning them at the start makes the most sense.
Yes, It Can Affect Your Reviews
There’s another practical reason to think carefully about content warnings: reviews.
Readers don’t necessarily leave a negative review because a book contains difficult content, but because they felt blindsided by it.
If I pick up a cosy Christmas romance and unexpectedly encounter a storyline about baby loss, that may affect my reading experience. If I pick up a dark romance and discover an assault between the love interests, that may affect my reading experience, too.
You can’t please everyone, and you shouldn’t try to. But you can give readers the information they need to decide whether your book is for them.
Content Warnings as a Marketing Tool
This is especially relevant in dark romance, where readers often expect intense or taboo themes. Many actively seek out that content. For them, content warnings can work almost like a menu: a way to see what’s on offer and find what they’re looking for.
You don’t want to miss out on readers who are actively looking for exactly what you’ve written!
Warn Your Editors, Too
If you’re going to hire someone to work on your manuscript, please provide them with a list of what to expect. I personally don’t have any triggers, but I’d still like to go in prepared.
That’s the difference. I hope this post has given you a little more insight into content warnings and why they can be so useful.
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